Thursday, December 9, 2010

humor unfolds and farewell chainsmoker laugh

today i laughed. real hard laugh. this is a fantastic thing if you are a post partum mother with 4 ankle biters, truly. upon laughing at a very funny thing, i found that my pregnancy laugh was gone. leaving behind no traces of the gut wrenching laugh i was tortured with for 9 months.

my little sister kept telling me, oh sister, i will be so sad when your pregnancy laugh goes away.

it was a deep, throaty, relaxed, life is within my grasp laugh. it was a loosey goosey thing that made me laugh hysterically when my husband was attacked by a dog, also when he fell down the hardwood stairs. now. you know i apologized for that. i did, i did. to him, to the world.

what is it with post partum that the entire house has to be cleaned, de-junked and sterile in 5.2 minutes or less? maybe it is the nine months you sit on the couch tortured with whatever ailment has you hanging. like a bad back and a provider that fixes bad backs all day living with you? nightmare city. every time i bent over and winced because of the nature of a bulging disc in your back, the redhead PA was on me like a cop filling up his monthly violation quota. he did dishes, cleaned floors, did laundry. he was such a beautiful house wife. i was on the sidelines watching, feeling guilt like a mountain drenched in snow. it kind of encompassed me that awful guilt. and now, it's gone more or less. the more i clean, de-junk, and scrub it lifts, bit at a time. even the children are not safe from dejunking. i keep telling them to watch out or that next load to the DI could be them. threats are such effective parenting (not):)

so, au revoir chain smoker pregnancy laugh. until we meet again. which, with a looker like this, my hopes are high that we will!!

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