Thursday, June 2, 2011

due punishment

the first day of summer arrived and i was screaming triumph in any one's ear who would listen. 9:30 and we found ourselves dressed, jobs done, TV never turned on, teeth brushed, breakfast cleaned up. yes, a mother's summer triumph indeed. as i was finishing getting ready ella loomed in the doorway. rowan was perched at the doorway with toys abounding and pillows to catch his cranium when the sitting up trick got old. with the older kids home she hadn't had her proper fill of mauling him. feeling jipped she decided to engage me in a compelling conversation.

ella: mom, if you do not let me hold rowan this instant i will whip you with this belt. (she was holding a very fashionable purple leather belt ready for action)

mom: ella, we do not whip people. i will let you hold row when i am done with my hair and i can help you.

ella: okay mom, i will give you two choices. if you do not let me hold rowan right this instant your choices are i will whip you or i will whip rowan. which is your choice?

mom: ella, whipping is not a choice. firstly (her favorite invented word i have come to love), i am bigger than you. heavenly father made it so the person giving choices has to be larger than the small person. okay.

ella: mom, that is not right. i give the choices at this house. i am not small, i am a big woman. who is getting whipped here.

mom: ella, you will not whip me or rowan. these are not choices children give their parents. i give the choices.

ella: mom i want to hold him right now on the toilet, let me have a choice about holding him on the toilet this INSTANT!

blah, blah, blah. downward spiral of my internal laughing and wondering where she comes from. as i am wondering all of life's perils, i feel something at my feet. only to look down and see a purple leather belt brushing up against my foot ever so sneakily. an indignant four year old smirking and walking away without a word. survival of the mentally fit here.....


Ashley J. McFarlane said...

Oh Heidi, that is hilarious! Where does she come up with these ideas? Still laughing..

we really need to do that photo shoot we've been talking about (if you still want to), looks like we probably missed out on the blossoms though. oops!

Todd said...

Wow, what a choice.

Tammy said...

Haaaaaa!!! I love the choices! That makes me laugh so very much.

winandem said...

Oh man, whip the baby, save your own skin ;)
Whenever I read these they make me laugh hysterically, because its like you are describing a conversation with Isabelle. Those Scott genes must be strong.

eden said...

scott genes very strong. I agree emily, that is Isabelle. But it also Brandyn and I canse Kamryn is going to be the same.