the making of me {chapter 3}

"s.mac, you are never going to believe this, i mean. i am sitting here looking at a letter from yale, they said you can come play, for REALS!" i was crying with the most joyous heart.

"what, are you kidding me, oh man, i have to walk outside." he said.

he had been in the library studying with the student that had offered to house him while he was there and give him a feel of the program.

we reveled, we talked, we cried and we laughed. really? it felt like walking on clouds, if that is possible, because ultimately it felt like something impossible had just happened.

"hon, are you going to tell joe {the student taking you around}?" i asked. and then i learned something about this man i love that made me say, thank you man above, all the break ups with other shmos were so worth it.

"no" he said, "i didn't get the details of how he got accepted and if he was on a waiting list and wasn't in on the first round i would feel really bad saying something to him."

then,
i picked my jaw off the ground.

should we tell people? i mean, the postman has no idea what school we are going to now and something in me wanted to have a big dinner with our family to reveal our final answer.

no, we decided, start calling the ones who should know first.

mostly, i wanted him to tell joe so he could celebrate with someone in person. i felt guilty being so far from him, wanting to jump up and down with him, see his smile go just right and give him a big, huge smooch. so, instead i told a 2 year old and a 7 week old baby. they grinned and i screamed, laughed and cried, all at once.

"winds of love" could sense my excitement. really, she was jumping and laughing and buddy hadn't yet started into his nightly screaming, so i proceeded to call all of the living family tree. first my family, who i couldn't find. they were headed to gma helen's i hear. so i called her, she was the first i told. she made an "oh boy" sound and then i told my mother, only to hear her shouting to all there, "he got in. what, are you kidding, oh my heck.........."

in the mean time, "winds of love" took it upon herself to get the celebration started. she climbed into our cupboard and got down a large 5 inch chocolate valentines heart from the local chocolate factory filled with mint truffle. she decided she and bud"e" should mark the occasion with a high quality product. i saw his fat little feet moving and heard squeals of delight coming from him and that begged me to further investigate. when i found them the inside of the heart was empty, the hard chocolate shell remained, i could hear the gas forming in the newborns tummy. oh, murder, i cried. and then i cried and cried and cried. it was the best and worst night of my life, okay that's dramatic. but i did visit the emotional pendulum on both sides. oh, the tummy ache. he wailed and cried and gassed his little heart out. i cried right there with him, it was a long wait for dad to come home.

yes, we are going to yale. aaahh. thank you man above, this made the decision easy.

then, one day a few weeks later, wake forrest called.

they said, "mr. s.mac, congratulations, you are no longer on the waiting list, you can come here."

he graciously told them of our good fortune and told them he had accepted yale's offer and thanks for the opportunity.

then, they started telling him how their program was better and he shouldn't go there.

we had to laugh. we were not turning this down, he had to talk and talk to her. she finally let him go.

so, the preparations began.

without going into boring detail, i will say that a series of miracles fell into our laps. we were guided to housing with an amazing light. it was as if the red sea parted. i am not making light here, miracles worked in our favor and i am so grateful for the small things that brought to pass great and mighty works in our behalf. where we lived made our experience so sweet.

we looked at the cost of the program and saw it was no higher than the other programs he had been accepted into. we were however nervous about the cost of living. it was sky high and i was nervous about making my $30 a week grocery budget stretch. thru another series of miracles, s.mac was granted some academic scholarships and some "you're married with 2 kids" scholarships that paid for his entire tuition plus a little. we only had to come up with living expenses and although it was high we felt so watched over.

i just couldn't get over feeling like it had all been laid out, this whole experience, we were just along for the ride.

inside my little head and deep in my heart there were twinges of fear. how could i move across the country without knowing a soul, not one person? i went into battle mode and dealt with the situation the best i knew how, there was lots of chocolate involved.......