this weekend.
if you need a BIG vintage fix, go here.
i am so happy whenever i go to this bi-annual event. vendors from all over the western states come and bring their "treasures".
Acorn Antiques Show
Golden Spike Event Center Events $4.00 entrance fee, $3.00 with coupon. Contact: Heidi Wilcox 801-645-5933. Saturday, November 1, 2008, 9:00 AM – 6:00 PM. Golden Spike Event Center/Exhibit Hall 1000 N. 1200 W. Ogden, UT 84404. For more info visit www.goldenspikeeventcenter.com.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
that little jokester.
remember the one that called asking for contributions from the enemy's campaign?
well, he just started a political blog which i am sure to love,
patriot pundit
go there, love it too....
p.s. i was able to convince s.mac of the error in his voting ways, all my facts and i swayed him back to normal voting, whew.......
well, he just started a political blog which i am sure to love,
patriot pundit
go there, love it too....
p.s. i was able to convince s.mac of the error in his voting ways, all my facts and i swayed him back to normal voting, whew.......
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
our political saga
without starting a political debate here, i will not name the objectionable parties in the following saga at our house.
we were driving home from a FHE pizza picnic from the duckpond last week. s.mac wasn't feeling well so i was driving. out of nowhere, he laid his claim as to his political choice.i thought he was joking. when i saw he was dead serious i let my jaw fall. i have strong and deep political convictions and these were contrary to those.
i can honestly say i had never had this feeling about s.mac before. i rattled off a whole list of reasons he was up in the night in his conclusion, he was silent. he said he didn't want to argue about it with me.
oh, were we arguing? we had never, really. i mean, if we disagree on something we put it aside and have never had a heated exchange, until now. and truth be told, i was the only heated one. i don't know if this is a qualification for a heated marital exchange.
i was on the phone with his mother that night and expressed my disgruntlement, she then told me that his family had voted in that party for years and that the fellow that married us was even voting that way.
i got off the phone and told him that he should have disclosed political alliances before the marriage and i almost felt as tho the marriage was null and void with the whole sealer going astray.
as we were going to bed that night i told him i felt like i was sleeping with the enemy.
(he was mostly laughing at my comments and the occasional "hell" my aussie background threw in to keep it exciting)
mostly, it was humor driving my comments. although a part of me felt betrayed. we had never disagreed on politics. i applaud him on doing his own research and coming to a conclusion on his own, but. we've had our first real, true disagreement. i mean where both of us are not budging and wow. it feels weird, i am glad we have 8 years on our side. i feel like we are an episode of "raymond" waiting to happen, that is when you know you have been married a while.
the next day he was giving a temple recommend to one of our friends and he told her of my funny reaction. she went home and told her practical jokester husband.
then my phone rang.
"yes, i was calling to follow up on the contribution mr. s.mac wanted to make to the {"enemy's"} campaign."
(my blood rushed to my head so fast i was pink and red as they come. we have been scrimping every penny for this new house and he is going to donate to the {enemy} at our family's expense.)
biting my lip i held back all of my comments. the mans voice came across as a balding jewish man in his 50's from the east coast. he has the best disguised voice.
i thought i would give s.mac the benefit of the doubt and i asked which address s.mac had them send this information to.
that got him.
"uh. ma'am. my computer seems to be a little glitchy now. i can't seem to pull that information up right now."
then, he started laughing. and with that i knew i had been "got".
my mother laughed senseless when i told her.
so here goes my political posting and what is deep in my bones, honest abe summed it up best for me:
*You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
*You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
*You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
*You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
*You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
*You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
*You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
we were driving home from a FHE pizza picnic from the duckpond last week. s.mac wasn't feeling well so i was driving. out of nowhere, he laid his claim as to his political choice.i thought he was joking. when i saw he was dead serious i let my jaw fall. i have strong and deep political convictions and these were contrary to those.
i can honestly say i had never had this feeling about s.mac before. i rattled off a whole list of reasons he was up in the night in his conclusion, he was silent. he said he didn't want to argue about it with me.
oh, were we arguing? we had never, really. i mean, if we disagree on something we put it aside and have never had a heated exchange, until now. and truth be told, i was the only heated one. i don't know if this is a qualification for a heated marital exchange.
i was on the phone with his mother that night and expressed my disgruntlement, she then told me that his family had voted in that party for years and that the fellow that married us was even voting that way.
i got off the phone and told him that he should have disclosed political alliances before the marriage and i almost felt as tho the marriage was null and void with the whole sealer going astray.
as we were going to bed that night i told him i felt like i was sleeping with the enemy.
(he was mostly laughing at my comments and the occasional "hell" my aussie background threw in to keep it exciting)
mostly, it was humor driving my comments. although a part of me felt betrayed. we had never disagreed on politics. i applaud him on doing his own research and coming to a conclusion on his own, but. we've had our first real, true disagreement. i mean where both of us are not budging and wow. it feels weird, i am glad we have 8 years on our side. i feel like we are an episode of "raymond" waiting to happen, that is when you know you have been married a while.
the next day he was giving a temple recommend to one of our friends and he told her of my funny reaction. she went home and told her practical jokester husband.
then my phone rang.
"yes, i was calling to follow up on the contribution mr. s.mac wanted to make to the {"enemy's"} campaign."
(my blood rushed to my head so fast i was pink and red as they come. we have been scrimping every penny for this new house and he is going to donate to the {enemy} at our family's expense.)
biting my lip i held back all of my comments. the mans voice came across as a balding jewish man in his 50's from the east coast. he has the best disguised voice.
i thought i would give s.mac the benefit of the doubt and i asked which address s.mac had them send this information to.
that got him.
"uh. ma'am. my computer seems to be a little glitchy now. i can't seem to pull that information up right now."
then, he started laughing. and with that i knew i had been "got".
my mother laughed senseless when i told her.
so here goes my political posting and what is deep in my bones, honest abe summed it up best for me:
*You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
*You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
*You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
*You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
*You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
*You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
*You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
because..
i'm so into these plates and i can't afford them.....
remember the amy butler vintage plates?
well, i couldn't afford even a saucer, so i had sweet carly give me an early christmas present.
i am in love, and i love simple.
i can't do fluffy blog designs with too much "stuff". maybe i have a disorder or something....
Monday, October 27, 2008
the making of me {chapter 3}
"s.mac, you are never going to believe this, i mean. i am sitting here looking at a letter from yale, they said you can come play, for REALS!" i was crying with the most joyous heart.
"what, are you kidding me, oh man, i have to walk outside." he said.
he had been in the library studying with the student that had offered to house him while he was there and give him a feel of the program.
we reveled, we talked, we cried and we laughed. really? it felt like walking on clouds, if that is possible, because ultimately it felt like something impossible had just happened.
"hon, are you going to tell joe {the student taking you around}?" i asked. and then i learned something about this man i love that made me say, thank you man above, all the break ups with other shmos were so worth it.
"no" he said, "i didn't get the details of how he got accepted and if he was on a waiting list and wasn't in on the first round i would feel really bad saying something to him."
then,
i picked my jaw off the ground.
should we tell people? i mean, the postman has no idea what school we are going to now and something in me wanted to have a big dinner with our family to reveal our final answer.
no, we decided, start calling the ones who should know first.
mostly, i wanted him to tell joe so he could celebrate with someone in person. i felt guilty being so far from him, wanting to jump up and down with him, see his smile go just right and give him a big, huge smooch. so, instead i told a 2 year old and a 7 week old baby. they grinned and i screamed, laughed and cried, all at once.
"winds of love" could sense my excitement. really, she was jumping and laughing and buddy hadn't yet started into his nightly screaming, so i proceeded to call all of the living family tree. first my family, who i couldn't find. they were headed to gma helen's i hear. so i called her, she was the first i told. she made an "oh boy" sound and then i told my mother, only to hear her shouting to all there, "he got in. what, are you kidding, oh my heck.........."
in the mean time, "winds of love" took it upon herself to get the celebration started. she climbed into our cupboard and got down a large 5 inch chocolate valentines heart from the local chocolate factory filled with mint truffle. she decided she and bud"e" should mark the occasion with a high quality product. i saw his fat little feet moving and heard squeals of delight coming from him and that begged me to further investigate. when i found them the inside of the heart was empty, the hard chocolate shell remained, i could hear the gas forming in the newborns tummy. oh, murder, i cried. and then i cried and cried and cried. it was the best and worst night of my life, okay that's dramatic. but i did visit the emotional pendulum on both sides. oh, the tummy ache. he wailed and cried and gassed his little heart out. i cried right there with him, it was a long wait for dad to come home.
yes, we are going to yale. aaahh. thank you man above, this made the decision easy.
then, one day a few weeks later, wake forrest called.
they said, "mr. s.mac, congratulations, you are no longer on the waiting list, you can come here."
he graciously told them of our good fortune and told them he had accepted yale's offer and thanks for the opportunity.
then, they started telling him how their program was better and he shouldn't go there.
we had to laugh. we were not turning this down, he had to talk and talk to her. she finally let him go.
so, the preparations began.
without going into boring detail, i will say that a series of miracles fell into our laps. we were guided to housing with an amazing light. it was as if the red sea parted. i am not making light here, miracles worked in our favor and i am so grateful for the small things that brought to pass great and mighty works in our behalf. where we lived made our experience so sweet.
we looked at the cost of the program and saw it was no higher than the other programs he had been accepted into. we were however nervous about the cost of living. it was sky high and i was nervous about making my $30 a week grocery budget stretch. thru another series of miracles, s.mac was granted some academic scholarships and some "you're married with 2 kids" scholarships that paid for his entire tuition plus a little. we only had to come up with living expenses and although it was high we felt so watched over.
i just couldn't get over feeling like it had all been laid out, this whole experience, we were just along for the ride.
inside my little head and deep in my heart there were twinges of fear. how could i move across the country without knowing a soul, not one person? i went into battle mode and dealt with the situation the best i knew how, there was lots of chocolate involved.......
"what, are you kidding me, oh man, i have to walk outside." he said.
he had been in the library studying with the student that had offered to house him while he was there and give him a feel of the program.
we reveled, we talked, we cried and we laughed. really? it felt like walking on clouds, if that is possible, because ultimately it felt like something impossible had just happened.
"hon, are you going to tell joe {the student taking you around}?" i asked. and then i learned something about this man i love that made me say, thank you man above, all the break ups with other shmos were so worth it.
"no" he said, "i didn't get the details of how he got accepted and if he was on a waiting list and wasn't in on the first round i would feel really bad saying something to him."
then,
i picked my jaw off the ground.
should we tell people? i mean, the postman has no idea what school we are going to now and something in me wanted to have a big dinner with our family to reveal our final answer.
no, we decided, start calling the ones who should know first.
mostly, i wanted him to tell joe so he could celebrate with someone in person. i felt guilty being so far from him, wanting to jump up and down with him, see his smile go just right and give him a big, huge smooch. so, instead i told a 2 year old and a 7 week old baby. they grinned and i screamed, laughed and cried, all at once.
"winds of love" could sense my excitement. really, she was jumping and laughing and buddy hadn't yet started into his nightly screaming, so i proceeded to call all of the living family tree. first my family, who i couldn't find. they were headed to gma helen's i hear. so i called her, she was the first i told. she made an "oh boy" sound and then i told my mother, only to hear her shouting to all there, "he got in. what, are you kidding, oh my heck.........."
in the mean time, "winds of love" took it upon herself to get the celebration started. she climbed into our cupboard and got down a large 5 inch chocolate valentines heart from the local chocolate factory filled with mint truffle. she decided she and bud"e" should mark the occasion with a high quality product. i saw his fat little feet moving and heard squeals of delight coming from him and that begged me to further investigate. when i found them the inside of the heart was empty, the hard chocolate shell remained, i could hear the gas forming in the newborns tummy. oh, murder, i cried. and then i cried and cried and cried. it was the best and worst night of my life, okay that's dramatic. but i did visit the emotional pendulum on both sides. oh, the tummy ache. he wailed and cried and gassed his little heart out. i cried right there with him, it was a long wait for dad to come home.
yes, we are going to yale. aaahh. thank you man above, this made the decision easy.
then, one day a few weeks later, wake forrest called.
they said, "mr. s.mac, congratulations, you are no longer on the waiting list, you can come here."
he graciously told them of our good fortune and told them he had accepted yale's offer and thanks for the opportunity.
then, they started telling him how their program was better and he shouldn't go there.
we had to laugh. we were not turning this down, he had to talk and talk to her. she finally let him go.
so, the preparations began.
without going into boring detail, i will say that a series of miracles fell into our laps. we were guided to housing with an amazing light. it was as if the red sea parted. i am not making light here, miracles worked in our favor and i am so grateful for the small things that brought to pass great and mighty works in our behalf. where we lived made our experience so sweet.
we looked at the cost of the program and saw it was no higher than the other programs he had been accepted into. we were however nervous about the cost of living. it was sky high and i was nervous about making my $30 a week grocery budget stretch. thru another series of miracles, s.mac was granted some academic scholarships and some "you're married with 2 kids" scholarships that paid for his entire tuition plus a little. we only had to come up with living expenses and although it was high we felt so watched over.
i just couldn't get over feeling like it had all been laid out, this whole experience, we were just along for the ride.
inside my little head and deep in my heart there were twinges of fear. how could i move across the country without knowing a soul, not one person? i went into battle mode and dealt with the situation the best i knew how, there was lots of chocolate involved.......
Thursday, October 23, 2008
firstly,
i have to say i love a good patio sit.
yes. here at the mac house you won't find much game playing.
our recipe for enjoyment consists of the following:
eat
visit
laugh
REPEAT
and the best place to do this is outside of course, and sitting in one of these makes this process all the more sweet.
my grandparents estate is being settled and dispersed. would you believe what a hot item the metal retro patio furniture was? mostly i think for the classic colors of red, blue and yellow but also the many, many laughs and time that passed sitting on them. i have been on a quest to find some that will help me remember them with and this is what i have found:
and again, yay target! they carry a full set in a lime green you can see it here.
yes. here at the mac house you won't find much game playing.
our recipe for enjoyment consists of the following:
eat
visit
laugh
REPEAT
and the best place to do this is outside of course, and sitting in one of these makes this process all the more sweet.
my grandparents estate is being settled and dispersed. would you believe what a hot item the metal retro patio furniture was? mostly i think for the classic colors of red, blue and yellow but also the many, many laughs and time that passed sitting on them. i have been on a quest to find some that will help me remember them with and this is what i have found:
and again, yay target! they carry a full set in a lime green you can see it here.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
the making of me {chapter 2}
"i got an interview at Des Moines." s.mac triumphed.
"oh, honey, if only you could get in there, it is such a good school. i think that is still within driving distance right?" i questioned.
"oh, hon. i can't believe this, they are ranked pretty high and i hear the cost of living is pretty low there, i bet we could get away with out too much student loan debt." he chimes.
"can you believe it? i mean, wow. this is so awesome." i said. i was reveling in the whole process and mostly glad the prospect of pocatello was on its way out the door.
we scrimp and save and purchase the airline ticket for the interview date. the night before he is supposed to leave, the stomach flu hits him harder than an american gladiator. he can't stop throwing up, all night, all day, shaking violently and fevered into delirium. getting ready to leave, with insistance from loving family looking from the outside in, i look him in the eye and say,"not worth it my dear s.mac. call and tell them the circumstances. if they aren't human enough to understand, we don't want to go there."
he cries, and finally agrees.
they rescheduled 3 weeks later because he needed to be here for the birth of his first son, they graciously understood that part too.
right before the flight to iowa, he got the letter from midwestern in arizona. please come, we think you are neat.
"that one is definitely within driving distance h.mac." he lovingly says.
"sure is." i am happy, very happy.
after the des moines interview, our lives will be complete with iowa in it. we can't live without it and must get in there. we tell everyone, we even feel like maybe we should flag down the post man and tell him.
then, the des moines acceptance comes. right before the midwestern interview.
"i got it, i got in, i got in." s.mac rejoices.
i had a very inexpensive apartment picked out, ready to call on.
then he gets back from glendale, AZ at midwestern.
our lives must have midwestern in them, we can't live without it and yes, here is where we are going......
then, the rejection letters from OSU, Oregon Health and Science and Duke. they didn't consider his current job in the medical field....sigh. they don't allow scholastic merit alone........
{he was crushed but never showed it......i only found out years later}
then, the letter from wake forrest in NC. oh mercy, we are in heaven. they want an interview.
then, the acceptance from midwestern. oh, we tell the postman and the grocery clerk along with everyone else we know, this is where we are going. this school is amazing and we CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MIDWESTERN.
then, the interview with wake forrest. he comes home and wants it bad. real bad. they are amazing, we know some folks out there and i got an hour long video of the place. yes, this is where we will go if we get in.
no immediate acceptance at wake forrest and he gets put on the waiting list. sad, sad, sad.
thru these months there was one place we hadn't heard from. and quite honestly, it was going to cramp our style if the rejection letter from yale came. our conversations wouldn't be the same.
we couldn't say things like, "well, i wish that mailman would hurry and get here, the yale mail is so slow."
or
"well, since we haven't heard from yale yet, i guess we better go to ____ to interview."
it became our common ground for joking and humor. little did we know....
he sits down in the library one day and opens his email only to be greeted by this snippet about YALE UNIVERSITY WANTING AN INTERVIEW! he stood up in the middle of the library and whooped....loudly, in the library, loudly whooping.
then, he calls a very post partum wife and tells her the news. she cries, and replies,"the interview is reward enough for all of your hard work." then, she called everyone she knew, as did s.mac.
i, at this point, knew being post partum in the middle of winter contemplating a large move was going to be emotional. add all of the stress of the school roller coaster and i was a mess. i was mostly alone at this time. s.mac was gone, a lot. tying up loose ends making sure graduation was inevitable. the demands placed on him were just as heavy as the ones placed on me. i am quite sure i was battling a large bout with depression but wanted to get through it on my own. i wanted to work through it and not depend on a pill to get me through. looking back i don't know if that was wise. i was very fragile and the birth of our little guy took a huge tole on my body. it took weeks to be able to walk again as the size of his head has never been on any charts the pediatricians measure by. through many prayers, our own and others, we made it through.
one thing that came up during the whole interview process really made me think hard about who i as a person am.
all my life i was taught we honor and respect the sabbath day. it is a day of rest and worship.
we weren't able to get away much but when we did, i think on our honey moon, we went to an amazing brunch in the park city area. we saved and talked about that being our reward once he got into a school and to celebrate in our own little way, his graduation. after all, i earned a PHT {put him thru}. the only day this particular place hosts this brunch is on sunday. it certainly wasn't common for us to do this but it didn't seem that big a deal as it was a once in 4 year event.
i remember giving that up thinking, if we want great blessings and miracles in our lives we have to live great lives. we can't go to that brunch.
sounds silly, maybe stupid. i'll take it. but i could feel the weight of living right during this critical time. i knew if we wanted great blessings, we had to live worthy of those, even if it was as little as a sunday brunch.
so we never went.
he called me after his yale interview and told me how amazed he was to be there and what an honor the interview was. told me about the beautiful architecture and the buildings in the city. he was telling me about his interview with the program director, mary. he said her questions were straight forward and were really trying to examine who he was as a person. she asked him one particular question that provoked a heartfelt answer. he threw aside all of the interview coaching he had received from numerous sources and gave a heartfelt answer with a very personal meaning too tender to share here publically. he shed some tears, but mostly he conveyed to her who s.mac was. why this career meant everything to him as a husband and a family man. he told me this later in a private and quiet moment. the day of the interview, when i got off the phone with him i went to the computer to balance the checkbook, when i was greeted with our email i saw something from yale. weird, i thought, he just finished his interview, like 3 minutes ago. i clicked it open to see the words acceptance and s.mac in the same sentence. the tears flowed....
i got to make a very important phone call......
"oh, honey, if only you could get in there, it is such a good school. i think that is still within driving distance right?" i questioned.
"oh, hon. i can't believe this, they are ranked pretty high and i hear the cost of living is pretty low there, i bet we could get away with out too much student loan debt." he chimes.
"can you believe it? i mean, wow. this is so awesome." i said. i was reveling in the whole process and mostly glad the prospect of pocatello was on its way out the door.
we scrimp and save and purchase the airline ticket for the interview date. the night before he is supposed to leave, the stomach flu hits him harder than an american gladiator. he can't stop throwing up, all night, all day, shaking violently and fevered into delirium. getting ready to leave, with insistance from loving family looking from the outside in, i look him in the eye and say,"not worth it my dear s.mac. call and tell them the circumstances. if they aren't human enough to understand, we don't want to go there."
he cries, and finally agrees.
they rescheduled 3 weeks later because he needed to be here for the birth of his first son, they graciously understood that part too.
right before the flight to iowa, he got the letter from midwestern in arizona. please come, we think you are neat.
"that one is definitely within driving distance h.mac." he lovingly says.
"sure is." i am happy, very happy.
after the des moines interview, our lives will be complete with iowa in it. we can't live without it and must get in there. we tell everyone, we even feel like maybe we should flag down the post man and tell him.
then, the des moines acceptance comes. right before the midwestern interview.
"i got it, i got in, i got in." s.mac rejoices.
i had a very inexpensive apartment picked out, ready to call on.
then he gets back from glendale, AZ at midwestern.
our lives must have midwestern in them, we can't live without it and yes, here is where we are going......
then, the rejection letters from OSU, Oregon Health and Science and Duke. they didn't consider his current job in the medical field....sigh. they don't allow scholastic merit alone........
{he was crushed but never showed it......i only found out years later}
then, the letter from wake forrest in NC. oh mercy, we are in heaven. they want an interview.
then, the acceptance from midwestern. oh, we tell the postman and the grocery clerk along with everyone else we know, this is where we are going. this school is amazing and we CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MIDWESTERN.
then, the interview with wake forrest. he comes home and wants it bad. real bad. they are amazing, we know some folks out there and i got an hour long video of the place. yes, this is where we will go if we get in.
no immediate acceptance at wake forrest and he gets put on the waiting list. sad, sad, sad.
thru these months there was one place we hadn't heard from. and quite honestly, it was going to cramp our style if the rejection letter from yale came. our conversations wouldn't be the same.
we couldn't say things like, "well, i wish that mailman would hurry and get here, the yale mail is so slow."
or
"well, since we haven't heard from yale yet, i guess we better go to ____ to interview."
it became our common ground for joking and humor. little did we know....
he sits down in the library one day and opens his email only to be greeted by this snippet about YALE UNIVERSITY WANTING AN INTERVIEW! he stood up in the middle of the library and whooped....loudly, in the library, loudly whooping.
then, he calls a very post partum wife and tells her the news. she cries, and replies,"the interview is reward enough for all of your hard work." then, she called everyone she knew, as did s.mac.
i, at this point, knew being post partum in the middle of winter contemplating a large move was going to be emotional. add all of the stress of the school roller coaster and i was a mess. i was mostly alone at this time. s.mac was gone, a lot. tying up loose ends making sure graduation was inevitable. the demands placed on him were just as heavy as the ones placed on me. i am quite sure i was battling a large bout with depression but wanted to get through it on my own. i wanted to work through it and not depend on a pill to get me through. looking back i don't know if that was wise. i was very fragile and the birth of our little guy took a huge tole on my body. it took weeks to be able to walk again as the size of his head has never been on any charts the pediatricians measure by. through many prayers, our own and others, we made it through.
one thing that came up during the whole interview process really made me think hard about who i as a person am.
all my life i was taught we honor and respect the sabbath day. it is a day of rest and worship.
we weren't able to get away much but when we did, i think on our honey moon, we went to an amazing brunch in the park city area. we saved and talked about that being our reward once he got into a school and to celebrate in our own little way, his graduation. after all, i earned a PHT {put him thru}. the only day this particular place hosts this brunch is on sunday. it certainly wasn't common for us to do this but it didn't seem that big a deal as it was a once in 4 year event.
i remember giving that up thinking, if we want great blessings and miracles in our lives we have to live great lives. we can't go to that brunch.
sounds silly, maybe stupid. i'll take it. but i could feel the weight of living right during this critical time. i knew if we wanted great blessings, we had to live worthy of those, even if it was as little as a sunday brunch.
so we never went.
he called me after his yale interview and told me how amazed he was to be there and what an honor the interview was. told me about the beautiful architecture and the buildings in the city. he was telling me about his interview with the program director, mary. he said her questions were straight forward and were really trying to examine who he was as a person. she asked him one particular question that provoked a heartfelt answer. he threw aside all of the interview coaching he had received from numerous sources and gave a heartfelt answer with a very personal meaning too tender to share here publically. he shed some tears, but mostly he conveyed to her who s.mac was. why this career meant everything to him as a husband and a family man. he told me this later in a private and quiet moment. the day of the interview, when i got off the phone with him i went to the computer to balance the checkbook, when i was greeted with our email i saw something from yale. weird, i thought, he just finished his interview, like 3 minutes ago. i clicked it open to see the words acceptance and s.mac in the same sentence. the tears flowed....
i got to make a very important phone call......
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
my thrifting finds...
i have been on a barstool hunt lately.
we inherited a cosco vintage stool in blue from s.mac's gma when she moved. i fell in love. i have become obsessed with these things. i love the stool, the colors from the time period and just mostly that it says "h.mac"
i have ventured to many antique shops, shows and other arenas one might find some more of this love. i finally ventured to ebay to find a few of them, but they are so heavy that they are a bugger to ship.
so, of course, i find them here, being recreated and brand new. ahhhhh....
yes, one in red, blue and yellow - vintage love
Monday, October 20, 2008
{love letters from h.mac}
dearest "winds of love",
you are the sparkle in my eye. and my little helen the other eye.
i love that you cuddle still, it is cool at 7.
i love how determined you are. case in point, last year you were insistent on short hair when no one had it. this year, all of your friends are sporting a fancy a-line and you have a long pony every day.
i love your gentleness.
i love your giggle, oh that sweet, belly roaring giggle.
i love your eyes, they tell me a story....
i love your cute hour glass figure, that cute little waist and a junky trunk, you couldn't be more lovely.
i love that you are taking piano when all the world seems to be taking dance and you don't want to do both. whew.....
i love when you are tender with bud"e" and helen, oh how they love you.
i love your love for life, there's just not enough time in the day for you.
i love when you were 3 going through your helpful stage of always looking out for others and you told me i should get a jazzy wheelchair and i could get around better. then recited the number to call and the benefits. shortly after, telling me i need new colgate with extra whitening bubble action because my teeth were yellow.
i love how much forgiveness you allow in the way of how i parent you, you make me better
i love your thoughtfulness, like how you gave all of your piggy bank money to UNICEF, that was tender.
i love you and could go on and on.....
much love,
h.mac your motha
Saturday, October 18, 2008
a very hapy birthday....
to you!
oh, my little helen.
i love every chubby piece of you.
i know we are both so glad to have the experience of these last 2 years behind us, we now have communication on our side, lovie.
i love how you can now focus all of your incredible intensity on the following:
*kisses and hugs and kisses and hugs
*words
*eating real food, no more momma's milk or the "mawowees" as you so lovingly called it
*marching
*singing
*coloring on papo
*wearing manties{panties} and figuring out why easton was given a squirt gun and you weren't
*holding hands when we go places
*saying no and meaning it
*being such a bright spot in our lives
the last weeks have been like day and night with her. the kid inside is coming alive and making me see that one day, she might have a sibling. {one day -very, very futuristically speaking}
happy birthday helen, we love you and every part that comes with it!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
the making of me {chapter 1}
"if you could choose dear, where out of anywhere ,would you want to go to school?" said s.mac
i was busy, although i can't remember the exact task, so it was something said in passing.
"well, i heard martha stewart lives in connecticut, maybe that would be nice."
not really thinking too much about that particular statement i felt a little warm fuzzy inside thinking i was grateful he would think of me. truth be told, any mention of moving anywhere with a 2 year old and a baby in my belly ever growing made my head spin.
i had never lived anywhere but at the foot of the rocky mountains. not to mention i had never lived on my own. life elsewhere only happened in the movies for me. before s.mac and i were married i had lived solely with my parents. many reasons kept me there. 2 being a sister and a brother that were only 1 and 2 when i graduated high school. i feared them never knowing me well if i left right out of high school for college. i also had a steady beau who kept me tied to the area. so, here we were, years later, pondering moving somewhere. not knowing where, but surely putting faith in a process so much bigger than us.
the next day i got a daily phone call from s.mac saying,"you'll never believe what school in connecticut has a PA program."
"where" i replied.
"yale."
we both died laughing. and i am sure there was some joke made about majoring in playing tennis or croquet with a stiff collar.
"i actually meet the requirements hon, i think i am going to apply."
i never thought to look on the map, nor study the geography of it. i was up to my elbows in basement living, 2 year old tantrums, diapers day in and day out and a whole lot of making it on my own. his undergrad was busy and we made a lot of sacrifices. i had my eyes set on his graduation from the local university that had taken 4 long years to get through. we were married the month before his 4 year undergrad journey began. 4 years of taking every semester the college offered, s.mac working to be the top of his class for 2.5 of the 4 years thinking he would be taking on medical school. here we were, the summer before leaving to go to some unknown destination and praying we would get it right. yale was the farthest thing from my mind.
the summer of 2003 was spent solely working on applications and research for every school that offered a PA program. we were shooting for the university of idaho in pocatello, id. that was where we envisioned ourselves and thought anything better than that would be a step up. not that there is anything wrong with that school. it didn't have the clinical experience s.mac was looking for but we had a limited budget- okay that's a joke. we had a below poverty budget. i had quit working my part time job to be with our little "winds of love" and the bud "e" growing in my belly. our goal was to have our car paid off that we could take to school with us and once we hit that goal, i quit. s.mac was working part time as a clerk in the radiology department and going to school full, full time. like 21 credit hours his senior year, he is a determined fella. so, back to the budget. the more schools you apply to, the more green that needs to be in your radar. we needed one ace in the hole and U of I was it for us. s.mac studied very carefully 11 schools he was qualified for, looked at the acceptance pattern and settled on those specific schools. yale being mostly a joke, humoring me.
the application process began. we didn't even know a PA. s.mac had seen them in passing at the hospital. we figured it was our way of having a family life and s.mac fulfilling his medical dream.
we were young and naive when we were married, i don't think that is abnormal. s.mac is goal oriented and i have a lot of intense energy. together we get things done and take a lot on. by our first year of marriage we were preparing for a new baby girl that we were over the top thrilled to be having. i was mostly relieved to have a good excuse to quit a job i considered to be on my list of worst years of my life list, if one exists. well if it does, that time in my life spent at the alarm company would be at the top of the list. thank goodness s.mac rescued me from that. by the third year of marriage we found ourselves overjoyed to be blessed with 2 babies as at one point in my life i was told it would be next to impossible to ever have any kids bearing my genetic make up. we lived thin and loved large to make up for the things we didn't have. it was a hard time for both of us. life came at us fast, ever cliche but ever true.
one night in the winter months of 2002, s.mac came to me after years of having his sights set on medical school and told me that it wasn't the life style he wanted anymore. he worried about the tole it would take on our marriage as we rarely saw each other as it was. he was in a lost state. he took a few months wondering what career choice would fit the family lifestyle he longed for best. he loved teaching. he looked into it and after seeing the reality of not being able to keep a wife at home with the kids that was quickly abandoned. that was a big deal to us.
sometimes i wish we would have had more support when we were pursuing the medical school dream. all we were bombarded with were divorce statistics, memories told of never seeing a dad even on christmas because rounds were being made and doctors bombarding s.mac with talk of not making the same career choice if they had to do it again. i look at the amazing people we have met that have gone thru medical school, internship and residency and know if we would have had the right circumstances it would have been okay. we are happy how things have turned out however. there is that part of me that is still tugged at when s.mac comes home from work being approached by doctor after doctor who tell him to go back because he has what it takes. that part of me still mourns that for him. at the same time, fills me with love knowing what he gave up to see more of us.
i suggested one day that maybe he should look into PA school. i knew the schooling was significantly shorter than that of an MD and he would still be able to dabble in the field that made his smile curve in just the right way.
so he did. and forever grateful am i for that life altering decision.
i was busy, although i can't remember the exact task, so it was something said in passing.
"well, i heard martha stewart lives in connecticut, maybe that would be nice."
not really thinking too much about that particular statement i felt a little warm fuzzy inside thinking i was grateful he would think of me. truth be told, any mention of moving anywhere with a 2 year old and a baby in my belly ever growing made my head spin.
i had never lived anywhere but at the foot of the rocky mountains. not to mention i had never lived on my own. life elsewhere only happened in the movies for me. before s.mac and i were married i had lived solely with my parents. many reasons kept me there. 2 being a sister and a brother that were only 1 and 2 when i graduated high school. i feared them never knowing me well if i left right out of high school for college. i also had a steady beau who kept me tied to the area. so, here we were, years later, pondering moving somewhere. not knowing where, but surely putting faith in a process so much bigger than us.
the next day i got a daily phone call from s.mac saying,"you'll never believe what school in connecticut has a PA program."
"where" i replied.
"yale."
we both died laughing. and i am sure there was some joke made about majoring in playing tennis or croquet with a stiff collar.
"i actually meet the requirements hon, i think i am going to apply."
i never thought to look on the map, nor study the geography of it. i was up to my elbows in basement living, 2 year old tantrums, diapers day in and day out and a whole lot of making it on my own. his undergrad was busy and we made a lot of sacrifices. i had my eyes set on his graduation from the local university that had taken 4 long years to get through. we were married the month before his 4 year undergrad journey began. 4 years of taking every semester the college offered, s.mac working to be the top of his class for 2.5 of the 4 years thinking he would be taking on medical school. here we were, the summer before leaving to go to some unknown destination and praying we would get it right. yale was the farthest thing from my mind.
the summer of 2003 was spent solely working on applications and research for every school that offered a PA program. we were shooting for the university of idaho in pocatello, id. that was where we envisioned ourselves and thought anything better than that would be a step up. not that there is anything wrong with that school. it didn't have the clinical experience s.mac was looking for but we had a limited budget- okay that's a joke. we had a below poverty budget. i had quit working my part time job to be with our little "winds of love" and the bud "e" growing in my belly. our goal was to have our car paid off that we could take to school with us and once we hit that goal, i quit. s.mac was working part time as a clerk in the radiology department and going to school full, full time. like 21 credit hours his senior year, he is a determined fella. so, back to the budget. the more schools you apply to, the more green that needs to be in your radar. we needed one ace in the hole and U of I was it for us. s.mac studied very carefully 11 schools he was qualified for, looked at the acceptance pattern and settled on those specific schools. yale being mostly a joke, humoring me.
the application process began. we didn't even know a PA. s.mac had seen them in passing at the hospital. we figured it was our way of having a family life and s.mac fulfilling his medical dream.
we were young and naive when we were married, i don't think that is abnormal. s.mac is goal oriented and i have a lot of intense energy. together we get things done and take a lot on. by our first year of marriage we were preparing for a new baby girl that we were over the top thrilled to be having. i was mostly relieved to have a good excuse to quit a job i considered to be on my list of worst years of my life list, if one exists. well if it does, that time in my life spent at the alarm company would be at the top of the list. thank goodness s.mac rescued me from that. by the third year of marriage we found ourselves overjoyed to be blessed with 2 babies as at one point in my life i was told it would be next to impossible to ever have any kids bearing my genetic make up. we lived thin and loved large to make up for the things we didn't have. it was a hard time for both of us. life came at us fast, ever cliche but ever true.
one night in the winter months of 2002, s.mac came to me after years of having his sights set on medical school and told me that it wasn't the life style he wanted anymore. he worried about the tole it would take on our marriage as we rarely saw each other as it was. he was in a lost state. he took a few months wondering what career choice would fit the family lifestyle he longed for best. he loved teaching. he looked into it and after seeing the reality of not being able to keep a wife at home with the kids that was quickly abandoned. that was a big deal to us.
sometimes i wish we would have had more support when we were pursuing the medical school dream. all we were bombarded with were divorce statistics, memories told of never seeing a dad even on christmas because rounds were being made and doctors bombarding s.mac with talk of not making the same career choice if they had to do it again. i look at the amazing people we have met that have gone thru medical school, internship and residency and know if we would have had the right circumstances it would have been okay. we are happy how things have turned out however. there is that part of me that is still tugged at when s.mac comes home from work being approached by doctor after doctor who tell him to go back because he has what it takes. that part of me still mourns that for him. at the same time, fills me with love knowing what he gave up to see more of us.
i suggested one day that maybe he should look into PA school. i knew the schooling was significantly shorter than that of an MD and he would still be able to dabble in the field that made his smile curve in just the right way.
so he did. and forever grateful am i for that life altering decision.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
{a new weekly installment}
for a long long time, well about two years now, a project has been brewing in my wee little head.
a project including all of my life altering experiences that happened to me in new haven, CT {sniff, sniff, weepiness happens at the mention}
i had the chance to visit with gma helen a week or so back. one of my favorite things.
she was talking about a family member who had a rough childhood and how in the depths of their self inflicted misery was taught a very life improving lesson by a hard decision imposed on him by his mom. grandmas statement about this particular story has rolled around in my head for a few weeks. she said, that tough love was the making of oliver {names changed to protect the innocent}.
i have had the chance to think about the making of me.
i've been fortunate enough to be given a lot of amazing tools thru out my life and our journey in connecticut was the making of me. i got to use all of the tools i was given in a really tough situation. thru it i found who i was, what i loved and what made me happy.
i have always wanted to write a book about how that experience shaped me but as that sounds too lofty i always put it off, so thru the course of many, many weekly installments, a blog book will be born.......
a project including all of my life altering experiences that happened to me in new haven, CT {sniff, sniff, weepiness happens at the mention}
i had the chance to visit with gma helen a week or so back. one of my favorite things.
she was talking about a family member who had a rough childhood and how in the depths of their self inflicted misery was taught a very life improving lesson by a hard decision imposed on him by his mom. grandmas statement about this particular story has rolled around in my head for a few weeks. she said, that tough love was the making of oliver {names changed to protect the innocent}.
i have had the chance to think about the making of me.
i've been fortunate enough to be given a lot of amazing tools thru out my life and our journey in connecticut was the making of me. i got to use all of the tools i was given in a really tough situation. thru it i found who i was, what i loved and what made me happy.
i have always wanted to write a book about how that experience shaped me but as that sounds too lofty i always put it off, so thru the course of many, many weekly installments, a blog book will be born.......
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
the latest thrift find...
came from a new thrift store that opened up about 10 minutes away, {locals email me, it is a killer find}
anyway.
bill the dad called me and said h.mac, go to the salvation store now. there is a old tin flour bin that you will want for your new kitchen and it is $5.99, it's good. thrilled every part of me was.
admission: i don't usually peruse thrift stores. i once had to sort stuff at a local one on a volunteer basis and after my friend natalie opened a bag with living things flying from it, i had halted all charity shopping.
my love of kitchen items got the better of me - so, after i grabbed the tin i shuffled with the kidlets thru to the kitchen part. and i found these beauties.
when i got home i looked on the back to find a made in england label with florentine on them. after some searching i found they are hot babies {thanks bill the wise dad}
there are 12 pieces, just right for the eclectic collection i already have going.
more vintage goodness coming next week as i have enough to last for a few months worth of posts....
Monday, October 13, 2008
the anger boils over....
sometimes i get to feeling mad about something. and sometimes i can't put a finger on exactly what......
sometimes i feel plain angry. i was wondering why today, when i was feeling my blood boil about an outrageous phone and cable bill, why i couldn't let it roll off my back. no, instead of letting it roll, i gave into the feeling and cancelled the cable, on the spot.
customer service, if you are not being sympathetic to the error you made to the tune of hundreds of dollars and you refuse to credit me for it, i am canceling. they didn't care and it made me more mad. i held my voice down, but indeed my cheeks {which by the way are growing ever fat with this cold weather, have you seen the yummy recipes here} were bright red and blood was rushing thru me. i told the cable guy, give me a minute here while i gather myself so that i don't yell and you don't go home in a bad mood. he still didn't care, he had all of my money.so i showed him, i cancelled.....
and i showed my point even further by telling the kids what gomers work at the cable company and how they were being dishonest and we are going to show them. their tears haven't stopped. (we've only had cable a few months and it has made us LAZY)
then,
my family must be part whale. when i clean the toilets i feel like they must sing the song, "splish splash" and let's just say, the males in this house are no longer allowed to stand with the rest of the bathroom using male population. the men folk here have been banished to sitting unless they want to be on splash removal, i am done.
and yet another.....
while i love my husband, i do, i do. when i am angry, he snorts too loud, chews wrong and slurps too much. and i say, h.mac, s.mac is simply eating, you have to chew to eat. but something about his loud mastication unnerves my blood to no end. i do, however, keep my mouth shut. i know i am the problem.
so, tonight, after questioning s.mac's laundry procedure of shoving 27 pair of pants into the small washer, i said - ahah! i know the problem.
i haven't blogged for 2 weeks, and blogging makes me look at life happily instead of the above.
glad to be back.
in my blogging mind i would translate the above as the following:
no more cable! yay! we can be a family again and talk and fight and go outside and play, whew!
maybe the next family night will entail target practice with cheerios for the boys....
and i am just happy a husby is happy to help his little wifey, even if it entails sniffing, overloading, loud mastication and snorting......
so, there you have it.
the males here at the mac house might be joining the standing world again soon.....
sometimes i feel plain angry. i was wondering why today, when i was feeling my blood boil about an outrageous phone and cable bill, why i couldn't let it roll off my back. no, instead of letting it roll, i gave into the feeling and cancelled the cable, on the spot.
customer service, if you are not being sympathetic to the error you made to the tune of hundreds of dollars and you refuse to credit me for it, i am canceling. they didn't care and it made me more mad. i held my voice down, but indeed my cheeks {which by the way are growing ever fat with this cold weather, have you seen the yummy recipes here} were bright red and blood was rushing thru me. i told the cable guy, give me a minute here while i gather myself so that i don't yell and you don't go home in a bad mood. he still didn't care, he had all of my money.so i showed him, i cancelled.....
and i showed my point even further by telling the kids what gomers work at the cable company and how they were being dishonest and we are going to show them. their tears haven't stopped. (we've only had cable a few months and it has made us LAZY)
then,
my family must be part whale. when i clean the toilets i feel like they must sing the song, "splish splash" and let's just say, the males in this house are no longer allowed to stand with the rest of the bathroom using male population. the men folk here have been banished to sitting unless they want to be on splash removal, i am done.
and yet another.....
while i love my husband, i do, i do. when i am angry, he snorts too loud, chews wrong and slurps too much. and i say, h.mac, s.mac is simply eating, you have to chew to eat. but something about his loud mastication unnerves my blood to no end. i do, however, keep my mouth shut. i know i am the problem.
so, tonight, after questioning s.mac's laundry procedure of shoving 27 pair of pants into the small washer, i said - ahah! i know the problem.
i haven't blogged for 2 weeks, and blogging makes me look at life happily instead of the above.
glad to be back.
in my blogging mind i would translate the above as the following:
no more cable! yay! we can be a family again and talk and fight and go outside and play, whew!
maybe the next family night will entail target practice with cheerios for the boys....
and i am just happy a husby is happy to help his little wifey, even if it entails sniffing, overloading, loud mastication and snorting......
so, there you have it.
the males here at the mac house might be joining the standing world again soon.....
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