yesterday we sat in a dark ultrasound room as a family of 6 (one appearing on the screen). i have not been oblivious to the fact that we are now 6, but having the kids ooh and aah, well, that's golden.
we had an amazing tech who was incredibly thorough in her work and it helped the kids to see what we were looking at. what we were not looking at were the "privates" as they're known around these parts. number 4 has swept over me, the impatient mother, with the patience of job. patience is all i have with this pregnancy. instead of worrying and lamenting over possibilities, i have felt really peaceful. i have let myself at times get worked up about the delivery. yesterday my doc reassured me that the births get easier with more deliveries. i gave him "that look" and reminded him about the large cranium and the 25 pounds of amniotic fluid i birthed in numbers 2 and 3. i told him i would do the first birth over and over and over. 10 children over in fact. i would take the broken tail bone and the stitches from number 1 compared to the trauma and pain of numbers 2 and 3. he looked at me and said, we take it visit at a time here and in the delivery room, let's enjoy this.
well, i'll tell you what. once the measurements on the baby came in exactly as they should be, cranium included, i relaxed. this is my first baby to come in exactly on target with measurements, down to the day. #2's head was 3 weeks ahead of due date and a belly measurement to match. same story with the others. i have hope i might go full term and deliver something under ten pounds. it's incredibly calming to me.
so i sat in that dark room waiting for the consult from the dr to confirm things were fine. i thought about how i have been able to relish this #4 with patience and this incredibly absent feeling of panic. i have been able to feel this little spirit since we had our big ultra sound with ella. feel this patient person and know who this baby is. i relished this gift on the eve of my thirty first birthday in that dark ultra sound room. i had a birthday moment. that calm, reassurance that all is well and here and now is where i belong. this road i am on is mine to travel and that there are good things all around.
i would be lacking if i didn't mention the kindness extended to me this day by loved ones. the calls, texts and many well wishes all thrown at me. makes thirty one years seem pretty lovely and i can't wait for 32.
i would also be deficient if i didn't mention a husband who planned a night in the big city complete with events to make your head spin. the man, who once i told him all i wanted was green salsa and a banana split with mass amounts of pineapple reduction from sonora grill, cancelled all plans and accompanied me. our waiter was awesome, we sat in my favorite spot and they brought me 2 dishes of green salsa all for myself. the banana split was the prettiest i had ever seen there and i assure you i have seen a lot of them. perfect ratio of pineapple, banana and chocolate. the cream topping was the thickest i have ever had. i grabbed the night manager and told him it was the prettiest split i had ever seen. he assured me that i had the best maker that night. it was really simple things that all went incredibly well. even thou i was bored with the juliet letters movie, i loved smelling the nachos and thinking about the peach rings at the concessions all night. ( i was far too full of baby and food to indulge)
the notes from kids, flowers from redhead, and the kindnesses from lovely friends made for a fantastic day. i didn't even mention the brunch on the river that included a chili cream cheese egg burrito, see a perfect day.....thank you!