in the beginning of my pregnancy i was incredibly emotional which is highly unlike me. i am not a cry at the drop of a hat gal. there were two times i cried this pregnancy because my husband hurt my feelings, my husband. anyone who knows him is rolling their eyes right now because webster defined kind after they met him. i was constantly feeling the need to cry the first 4 months. i hated it. it felt incredibly out of control, and me. well, i like being in control.
the emotions of crying have left and this odd phenomenon has taken over. just to make me feel better, i have read that it happens to pregnant women, often times in labor. but whenever something happens that would normally cause someone real sensitive to cry, a laugh comes out of me that could give a 30 year chain smoker something to be jealous about. i mean, can't stop, dry heaving it hurts so much to laugh. it happens when a deep emotion is meant to be evoked in a bad situation and instead of my normal, not pregnant, panic and concern routine, i turn into a dry heaving laugher. the laugh is contagious, for i am a sight to behold. i've noticed that whenever it's happened, the one with me is also laughing, probably at my laugh. the circumstances are usually unfavorable and, oh dang, involve my husband.
chain smoker laughing fit number uno
i was piddling for the 1,257,344 time one day when a large crash was heard throughout the house. i came out sure that someone was dead at the bottom of the hardwood staircase to find my husband holding his arm and grabbing his bottom left cheek. he had fallen. from the top to the bottom and couldn't stop. in one second i was so glad someone wasn't dead, and then to see he was walking, that's when it started. i wanted to cry or lament, do something with the burst of emotion trapped inside but instead only the chain smoker laugh abounded. i knew it was inappropriate because he was rubbing his hind haunches and giving himself an ER evaluation. i could only hear snippets of an ulnar or was it radar something or other and the possible need for a cast, then he threw in hairline in reference to his arm, all the while rubbing his lower extremity. i was following him with my hand on his back, holding the giggles in, biting my lip.
after five minutes, it got to the unbearable point. all this emotion pent up, wanting to come out in a 20 minute chain smoker laugh. and that it did. spit was flying everywhere from holding it in so long and the tears. oh the tears, streaming down my face. streaming and then the dry heaving. it was painful the laughing was so intense. of course, this was such a site, my husband joined in laughing. pretty soon i was back in the bathroom, dry heaving thru the tears and laughter, all the while thinking stop, stop, stop. it hurts.
situation number 2
last night only a few short moments after scott (this is setting a bad precedent for who this happens to) set out on a nightly run, i got a call from someone we know telling me he was with scott and a dog bit his nose.
what the .....
okay. this man then asked if i could come and get scott.
well, okay.
he told me where they were and just as i was ready to load up and go retrieve the nose, i got another call from the same fellow. never mind, would you call scott's dad and have him pick scott up. he needs to go to a doctor. my sensitive pregnant self felt rejected by the demotion but the normal person knew he was trying to shield me from any hassle at 10:00 at night with three kids, 2 sleeping and one with a belly ache still up and biting at my ankles. all this emotion taken into consideration, the chain smoker came alive. i called his dad, trying to tell him in between the giggles and laughing what had happened. trying to apologize for the laughing and blaming it on the pregnancy, i was a mess. i couldn't stop the chain smoker in me. i had emotion, it had to get out. he should've disowned me right then.
a few minutes later it was determined the hospital's ER was needed as a few more assessed the situation. i then called my parents house to see if someone could come sit at my house while i accompanied the injury and my husband for support to the hospital. the problem was, my little sister answered the phone and the laughing was in full swing. i couldn't get it out, it took bouts and bouts of laughing, pinching and dry heaving to get it out. she was laughing so hard at my laughing that by the time she realized what had happened, she couldn't understand why i was laughing. the end of this fit was coming, i could tell, the dry heaving was about to begin. i told her i would call her right back.
meanwhile my husband came home to get insurance info and comfy clothes to sit the night out at the er waiting for his nose and forehead to be stitched back to normal. the fit was over and now only occasional dry heaving i was able to conceal. i was able to see that he still had a nose but that some dog had it out for him. he was going to be okay. i also still don't have the full story. i called his surgeon last night to let him know scott might not be at work due to this strange incident, he graciously excused scott from all surgical duties to heal from the whatever it was i didn't know about. i passed this along to my red head only to find him not in bed this morning. i was with the ankle biter belly ache last night late when he got home and didn't get any info in the passing. i tried telling this to the 3 concerned callers who dialed our digits before 9:00 am this morning, wanting status updates on the incident and injury. all i could offer was that i think there was a multi-level fusion on the docket today which could mean 6 hours or 9 hours of OR. maybe by dinner i will know how his nose got involved with a dog on his nightly run.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
furniture and decor
so so glad i have taken part in patience waiting to furnish my house. this building stuff is so over rated, you need a year off afterwards. as we are coming upon our year mark of home steading here i have decided to get serious about decor. as in i am thinking about it and have loads of favorites marked. i want classic. i really don't want any part of any earth tone scheme. sorry, i am just so over the rocky mountain palette of browns, beige, and brown. i really think we need a color splash to take these rockies by their boots, every house looks the same. ramblers with earth tones inside and out. we can still be friends if you partake in this tho :).
so here mark a few of my favorites so far. give me 6 months and maybe you will see the finished product! ( i am counting on some serious nesting to kick in)
my red headed husband told me this rug was the last thing he would ever expect me to choose. but we have his grandpa's old green leather 1960 something chiropractic chair waiting for a small repair that would be killer with this rug. also, a great orange chair i love sits in my corner waiting for overstock to restock this baby.
maps are so fascinating to me, i loved this vinyl wall sticker. i am also excited to bring out my retro globes and hoping to accumulate a few cool maps to plaster on the wall. i found this one on etsy.com
brown leather, boo. i want this couch in green velvet. if you know where to find one, this is the most sought after piece i want. i have googled, catalogued and searched every store within a 30 minute range. no luck. the husband loves brown leather, he would buy this. maybe he will win. yellow, wouldn't yellow leather rock this with black stained wood finish? that last sentence just horrified my mother.
oh restoration hardware, you break my heart with your prices. i want this kensington model like i want nachos everyday. because nachos with medium temp cheese and slightly not crispy chips enter my mouth once a week, and when they don't, i dream of them. i blame it all on the baby, but really. i want this sofa in baby blue.
anthropologie. you steal my heart. your cranesbill wallpaper needs to be in my dining room. we need to partake in your beauty while we consume food. you will be coming to momma soon, don't worry.
ever since mrs. limestone introduced the two of us, i haven't been able to get you out of my mind. i love you allister sofa from z gallerie. and i love you mrs limestone. your blog teases my every designing dream. allister, you may be coming home with me. you have nearly booted the green velvet sofa that has permeated my dreams for 2 years now. oh how i wish you were green......
again z gallerie, the baby blue has wormed its way into my heart. you would be so perfect with the above mentioned rug, green retro chair, and orange chair.
by now you are thinking less of my because i want so many couches. truth is i have 3 sitting rooms and it's ridiculous. this house is too big for my taste. it was hard to guage quaint when we were building. utah doesn't know quaint, we just know big. boo. i want to tell you i hate the house payment and it's killing me. no. we guaged our payment just fine, at the end of the day i just have too much house. maybe once it is full of this pretty furniture, the house and i can be friends again. because i do love my kitchen. it makes me smile with every turn of the gas range and beep of the oven. anyway, there is the spread that bounces around in my crazy head everyday and night.
so here mark a few of my favorites so far. give me 6 months and maybe you will see the finished product! ( i am counting on some serious nesting to kick in)
my red headed husband told me this rug was the last thing he would ever expect me to choose. but we have his grandpa's old green leather 1960 something chiropractic chair waiting for a small repair that would be killer with this rug. also, a great orange chair i love sits in my corner waiting for overstock to restock this baby.
maps are so fascinating to me, i loved this vinyl wall sticker. i am also excited to bring out my retro globes and hoping to accumulate a few cool maps to plaster on the wall. i found this one on etsy.com
brown leather, boo. i want this couch in green velvet. if you know where to find one, this is the most sought after piece i want. i have googled, catalogued and searched every store within a 30 minute range. no luck. the husband loves brown leather, he would buy this. maybe he will win. yellow, wouldn't yellow leather rock this with black stained wood finish? that last sentence just horrified my mother.
oh restoration hardware, you break my heart with your prices. i want this kensington model like i want nachos everyday. because nachos with medium temp cheese and slightly not crispy chips enter my mouth once a week, and when they don't, i dream of them. i blame it all on the baby, but really. i want this sofa in baby blue.
anthropologie. you steal my heart. your cranesbill wallpaper needs to be in my dining room. we need to partake in your beauty while we consume food. you will be coming to momma soon, don't worry.
ever since mrs. limestone introduced the two of us, i haven't been able to get you out of my mind. i love you allister sofa from z gallerie. and i love you mrs limestone. your blog teases my every designing dream. allister, you may be coming home with me. you have nearly booted the green velvet sofa that has permeated my dreams for 2 years now. oh how i wish you were green......
again z gallerie, the baby blue has wormed its way into my heart. you would be so perfect with the above mentioned rug, green retro chair, and orange chair.
by now you are thinking less of my because i want so many couches. truth is i have 3 sitting rooms and it's ridiculous. this house is too big for my taste. it was hard to guage quaint when we were building. utah doesn't know quaint, we just know big. boo. i want to tell you i hate the house payment and it's killing me. no. we guaged our payment just fine, at the end of the day i just have too much house. maybe once it is full of this pretty furniture, the house and i can be friends again. because i do love my kitchen. it makes me smile with every turn of the gas range and beep of the oven. anyway, there is the spread that bounces around in my crazy head everyday and night.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
happy birthday!
ok, so, this is paige... a.k.a. heidi's favorite and only sister. what do you know, but that i just went to go sign into my blogger account and found that heidi is already signed in? and suddenly, the thought occured to me that i could let the whole blogging world know that it is heidi's birthday today!
heidi is the best sister anyone could ever have! there is a 16 year gap between us, and so we have a unique relationship. we don't fight over clothes {i am a few sizes bigger, anyway ;)} and we get along really well. i can go to her for advice, and she tells me what she would have done when she was my age. it is great.
heidi is an amazing mother, and her kids are terribly lucky to have her! this new little addition is anxiously awaited, and i think we are all excited, but heidi could not be any happier! she takes after our sweet grandma norma, and was meant to be a mother.
while i could say much much more about my amazing sister, i will end with this.... i love you heid, and i am so lucky to have you as a sister! i am so grateful that you are apart of our family... i wouldn't have it any other way!
love you sista!
love,
Paige
heidi is the best sister anyone could ever have! there is a 16 year gap between us, and so we have a unique relationship. we don't fight over clothes {i am a few sizes bigger, anyway ;)} and we get along really well. i can go to her for advice, and she tells me what she would have done when she was my age. it is great.
heidi is an amazing mother, and her kids are terribly lucky to have her! this new little addition is anxiously awaited, and i think we are all excited, but heidi could not be any happier! she takes after our sweet grandma norma, and was meant to be a mother.
while i could say much much more about my amazing sister, i will end with this.... i love you heid, and i am so lucky to have you as a sister! i am so grateful that you are apart of our family... i wouldn't have it any other way!
love you sista!
love,
Paige
my birthday bliss
yesterday we sat in a dark ultrasound room as a family of 6 (one appearing on the screen). i have not been oblivious to the fact that we are now 6, but having the kids ooh and aah, well, that's golden.
we had an amazing tech who was incredibly thorough in her work and it helped the kids to see what we were looking at. what we were not looking at were the "privates" as they're known around these parts. number 4 has swept over me, the impatient mother, with the patience of job. patience is all i have with this pregnancy. instead of worrying and lamenting over possibilities, i have felt really peaceful. i have let myself at times get worked up about the delivery. yesterday my doc reassured me that the births get easier with more deliveries. i gave him "that look" and reminded him about the large cranium and the 25 pounds of amniotic fluid i birthed in numbers 2 and 3. i told him i would do the first birth over and over and over. 10 children over in fact. i would take the broken tail bone and the stitches from number 1 compared to the trauma and pain of numbers 2 and 3. he looked at me and said, we take it visit at a time here and in the delivery room, let's enjoy this.
well, i'll tell you what. once the measurements on the baby came in exactly as they should be, cranium included, i relaxed. this is my first baby to come in exactly on target with measurements, down to the day. #2's head was 3 weeks ahead of due date and a belly measurement to match. same story with the others. i have hope i might go full term and deliver something under ten pounds. it's incredibly calming to me.
so i sat in that dark room waiting for the consult from the dr to confirm things were fine. i thought about how i have been able to relish this #4 with patience and this incredibly absent feeling of panic. i have been able to feel this little spirit since we had our big ultra sound with ella. feel this patient person and know who this baby is. i relished this gift on the eve of my thirty first birthday in that dark ultra sound room. i had a birthday moment. that calm, reassurance that all is well and here and now is where i belong. this road i am on is mine to travel and that there are good things all around.
i would be lacking if i didn't mention the kindness extended to me this day by loved ones. the calls, texts and many well wishes all thrown at me. makes thirty one years seem pretty lovely and i can't wait for 32.
i would also be deficient if i didn't mention a husband who planned a night in the big city complete with events to make your head spin. the man, who once i told him all i wanted was green salsa and a banana split with mass amounts of pineapple reduction from sonora grill, cancelled all plans and accompanied me. our waiter was awesome, we sat in my favorite spot and they brought me 2 dishes of green salsa all for myself. the banana split was the prettiest i had ever seen there and i assure you i have seen a lot of them. perfect ratio of pineapple, banana and chocolate. the cream topping was the thickest i have ever had. i grabbed the night manager and told him it was the prettiest split i had ever seen. he assured me that i had the best maker that night. it was really simple things that all went incredibly well. even thou i was bored with the juliet letters movie, i loved smelling the nachos and thinking about the peach rings at the concessions all night. ( i was far too full of baby and food to indulge)
the notes from kids, flowers from redhead, and the kindnesses from lovely friends made for a fantastic day. i didn't even mention the brunch on the river that included a chili cream cheese egg burrito, see a perfect day.....thank you!
we had an amazing tech who was incredibly thorough in her work and it helped the kids to see what we were looking at. what we were not looking at were the "privates" as they're known around these parts. number 4 has swept over me, the impatient mother, with the patience of job. patience is all i have with this pregnancy. instead of worrying and lamenting over possibilities, i have felt really peaceful. i have let myself at times get worked up about the delivery. yesterday my doc reassured me that the births get easier with more deliveries. i gave him "that look" and reminded him about the large cranium and the 25 pounds of amniotic fluid i birthed in numbers 2 and 3. i told him i would do the first birth over and over and over. 10 children over in fact. i would take the broken tail bone and the stitches from number 1 compared to the trauma and pain of numbers 2 and 3. he looked at me and said, we take it visit at a time here and in the delivery room, let's enjoy this.
well, i'll tell you what. once the measurements on the baby came in exactly as they should be, cranium included, i relaxed. this is my first baby to come in exactly on target with measurements, down to the day. #2's head was 3 weeks ahead of due date and a belly measurement to match. same story with the others. i have hope i might go full term and deliver something under ten pounds. it's incredibly calming to me.
so i sat in that dark room waiting for the consult from the dr to confirm things were fine. i thought about how i have been able to relish this #4 with patience and this incredibly absent feeling of panic. i have been able to feel this little spirit since we had our big ultra sound with ella. feel this patient person and know who this baby is. i relished this gift on the eve of my thirty first birthday in that dark ultra sound room. i had a birthday moment. that calm, reassurance that all is well and here and now is where i belong. this road i am on is mine to travel and that there are good things all around.
i would be lacking if i didn't mention the kindness extended to me this day by loved ones. the calls, texts and many well wishes all thrown at me. makes thirty one years seem pretty lovely and i can't wait for 32.
i would also be deficient if i didn't mention a husband who planned a night in the big city complete with events to make your head spin. the man, who once i told him all i wanted was green salsa and a banana split with mass amounts of pineapple reduction from sonora grill, cancelled all plans and accompanied me. our waiter was awesome, we sat in my favorite spot and they brought me 2 dishes of green salsa all for myself. the banana split was the prettiest i had ever seen there and i assure you i have seen a lot of them. perfect ratio of pineapple, banana and chocolate. the cream topping was the thickest i have ever had. i grabbed the night manager and told him it was the prettiest split i had ever seen. he assured me that i had the best maker that night. it was really simple things that all went incredibly well. even thou i was bored with the juliet letters movie, i loved smelling the nachos and thinking about the peach rings at the concessions all night. ( i was far too full of baby and food to indulge)
the notes from kids, flowers from redhead, and the kindnesses from lovely friends made for a fantastic day. i didn't even mention the brunch on the river that included a chili cream cheese egg burrito, see a perfect day.....thank you!
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