loving

i know a lot of flutter from the mouth of a mother this weekend entails not loving this holiday.

i partake in maybe a small majority of women who really, really eat this weekend up. i love thinking about it for a week before and after. "winds of love" and bud"e" have been counting down until this weekend for the holiday for a week. somehow, the meaning of this weekend got lost in toddler translation and hella has been wishing herself a happy birthday every day, asking each day when we are going to make her cake. most mornings i have been met with a "happy birtsdee momma." the other kids fall apart giggling and then she tells them in an unkind way she doesn't appreciate being laughed at. that can usually entail a right hook to the jaw which then ends up in time out, boy this sentence is turning out all wrong. anyway, besides the only once a day tantrum occurring involving the birthday mix up, they have been cutting tulips, dandelions, and grass blades to show their love. things have been getting cleaned just to see the look on my face. i have had to really be aware of their motives so i don't hurt any one's feelings. every blade of grass and weed makes me equally happy i tell them. they have been really, really thinking about me this week and that makes my heart dance. hella has been full of love and even fell asleep on me for a nap, which is a gift from above. naps are not for her apparently unless they are at 5:30 right at dinner. this week, i was busy in the making process of dinner and heard a faint, "mom i so tiwud." then, she disappeared, and i found this.

there, she was tired and the pre dinner apple snack was too tiring to eat. for this child, a nap at 5:30 does not mean sleep the rest of the night like it did for the other two at this age. it means waking up spitting nails at 7:00 and staying up until 11:00 making your motha in a funk.

for the record. that outfit had been worn over her clothes all day. to the store and various other errands that would have caused a first time mother to be red cheeked. i took it all in stride and at costco we made quite the scene whilst in the line she decided it was time for smoochies. she proceeded to grab my head with those chubby paws and leaves drops of love with her kisses all over my face. you don't deny her "loves". they come at unexpected times. there she was adoring me with love when i should have been putting my pears on the checkout stand, all dressed up in her pink fancy. it was the best mothers day moment and it attracted the attention of passers by that laughed and were having great fun watching the whole event unfold..

i had a dinner for mom and grandma this weekend. i laid my grandma's tablecloth on the table we ate from so i could remember all of the good women that night, even if she was watching us from above. that is where my sentimental"ness" comes into play. i love all of the things i got when we cleared their house. i use the things everyday and was so glad to have this so i could think about her while i bustled about getting dinner ready. it's funny. mom and grandma kept telling me it was mother's day weekend and i should be sitting down enjoying a meal too. but the reality is, at this point in my life, my mother's day is enjoyed by making a grand meal for the good women in my life to enjoy. it is also made happy by reading the card "winds of love" made, listening to bud"e" telling me how he can't wait for sunday to tell me happy mothers day and having hella wish me happy birthday everyday. i am the receiver of hugs and kisses from sticky fingers and happy hearts. it is a phase that will quickly pass and i will soon join the sitting world of eaters one day when my time has come. but my sitting at the table will mean my blades of grass and freshly picked weeds will be replaced with annual cards declaring love and appreciation. and i bet if the truth were told, mom and grandma just might wish for a day of those years back to receive the gifts of babes. i have been able to see the mark a mother leaves with her kids as i have really taken note of them and their affections for me this week. it makes me have a happy heart for the mother's that made this husband of mine so good. i will love them with a full heart the rest of my life for all they did to make him so perfect for me. mother's day is so much bigger than the mother at this house. and this tart i made? i did it to show them i love them, eating my food atop grandma's tablecloth. a really pretty memory.