the making of me {chapter 5}

s.mac did his time in an unfun, get thru school job. he worked 4 years of weekends, holidays and grunt grunt grunt. "bottom of the totum pole" was something i was so glad to check off of the "crappy parts" of life list. we were however, grateful for the means it provided us, insurance and money. the basic necessities of newlywed bliss.

his program was unique in that most of yale's programs start at the same time and have regular breaks and vacations. not the pa program. no, high speed, hold onto your panties folks, we're going for a ride pa program. so, s.mac had accumulated enough time off that we had a whole week of paid vacation. utilizing our resources the best we could, he worked until the day before we moved.

you know the intense energy i admitted to earlier? this would be the time it is called a "fault". i had only anticipated needing him there to load up the uhaul. i could surely handle the rest.
and then the day came and i realized my stupidity....

i needed him for more than one day to pack up. both our families were on vacations and i had 2 babies, HELLO! not exhibiting my "complete happy meal skills" with this move. i flew in on a thursday and he started school on a monday. but honestly, those 3 days were the most he had had off in years so we thought it was fun.

*the journeying to the great ghetto.

the drive out. s.mac's part.

we had a kafauffle, hmm, a mishap really. and although s.mac's dad had planned on driving with him, his dad had just flown in from a guided tour as the "tour guide" in the middle of the night the day the journey had been planned for. for various reasons we decided the jet lag and the inconvenience couldn't give us a clear conscience. we turned to who we turn to when we need dependability. my mountain man brother. i think he had a few hours notice before he was driving our uhaul out of the driveway, all with a smile on his face. the plan was to rest every so many hours, catching sleep at random motels along the way. after a full days driving, s.mac told mountain man he was going to sleep a bit and for mountain man to pull over at the next motel he saw. that was the plan.

s.mac woke up 7 hours later in the middle of nebraska to hear mountain man say, "dude, it's your turn to drive, i need some zzzz's."


the animal had driven thru the night. that set the precedent. they drove there in 48 hours, STRAIGHT, as in their cheeks only lifted for soda and corn dogs. they got to the ghetto, unloaded in 2 hours. with that mountain man was on a flight back, with little sleep on his side, to the rocky mountains to help me.


sniff, sniff, i love him.


we had high hopes his airline privileges would get him on the flight with me and my bambinos. i was a mess thinking i would be navigating all by myself with the wee babes. not to mention. bud"e" had a horrid case of the, how can i explain? clogged plumbing, restricted colon, the no pass gas zone, the baby was horribly plugged. i had given him large doses of relief in a spoon with no end in sight. as i boarded, mountain man gave me the look like, {i can't get on the plane sister, it is all full.} it was the first time on our journey i had to use my inner strength. and somewhere i found it.......until we took off.


as the take off began i started unloading the entire king's store i had packed in cute little good mom bags for my kids. all organized and such. bud"e"'s face looked funny to me and the loud sounds of the take off lulled the little bugger to sleep. oh, pure relief, i thought. he's going to sleep the whole time. i had the thought that i knew the grandma's must have been saying extra prayers because this was an amazing situation. sleeping baby, "winds of love" is an awesome flying companion and only a few hours until we arrive to our new "home". perfect, absolutely perfect - that is, until i felt wetness all down the front of me.....


the take off had just started and the relief in the spoon had gone thru the internals of the baby boy sleeping in my arms. i could smell it, i could now see it and also now, unfortunately, feel it. i was not a stranger to situations like this. when my little sister was a toilet training toddler and i, a high fashionista teen, she peed all over me in the middle of a church service. yep, right in the middle of the speaker, pee, all over me and my fashionable jumper made of black corduroy. so, digging into my dirty coping skills, i remained calm until the fasten seat belt sign came off. it was at least 15 minutes into the flight after the leaking began.


i had to wake him, let me repeat, i had to wake him.(please insert wailing and gnashing of teeth here) i took all the wipes i owned and the little poopy "bud"e", with the little toddler, to the one person bathroom. it was a ghastly sight, i had no choice but to throw his pants away. away. away and down the endless airline garbage receptacle. he came out with a shirt on and i can only imagine what the folks thought of his mother. naked babies and oreos. did i mention i thought the best treat to pack for the kids were oreos? we walked off the plane half naked, covered in oreos from head to toe. a beautiful vacationing family from alpine, UT took pitty on me and helped me navigate JFK and also let me call my s.mac on their cell phone. they saved my life and i had never, ever been so glad to see the red head in all my life.....