my heart hurts

when school starts.  we work so darn hard to build those summer relationships and then poof - all gone! school starts and our time together is reduced and turned into routine and balance. i sure love summer nights looking at stars, and lazy mornings with cartoons and late bowls of cereal . it's all necessary but so sad.

today ella started kindergarten.  she was thrilled and i was that parent holding back the tears.  she has needed me so much that i was just resigned to being her sidekick for life.  it was a startling thought that the county wanted her for a few hours everyday and there was nothing i could do about it.  sigh.  she was thrilled to walk into that classroom and had the displeasure of lugging me behind.  she could have gone in by herself and been fine.

there was a sparkle in her eye that was so confident and so ready. she is ready.  it's what i keep repeating today every time those tears welled up.

also, while all things random might as well come up - i think this article changed my health.  i am not joking one ounce. and it actually started with this article i found on pinterest that lead me to it.  i have been diligent about researching every single darn aspect of thyroid dysfunction as i am pretty convinced that this and some hormonal issues have been my problem.  i have found great success with the magnesium oil.  it is itchy at first, but my heart flutters, palpitations, and chest pains were gone the first few applications.  also, i was having at least one panic attack each day (over nothing, just suddenly feeling like i couldn't breath and crazy nervous), those dissipated the first few days i started using it.  i use the magnesium powder throughout the day in a huge cup of water that i sip on.  i have found i have to really, really dilute mine. i can now wait 3-4 hours in between meals and have been able to keep a steady weight. my metabolism had gone into overtime and i was eating enough for my entire family all before breakfast and losing weight. it was disturbing on many levels.
the best part of this find is the amazing sleep.  i was sleeping for 7-8 hours but waking up every half hour or so.  since i started using all of these, i am sleeping a solid 6-8 hours and wide awake when i do come to.  i experimented with scott, having him take a drink before bed of the powder.  the nights we didn't use it, he tossed and turned all night.  i think i just may have convinced my western medicine husband of something alternative, maybe......only maybe.  also, i have been using this supplement as i have had migraines weekly since they put the nexplanon rod in my arm.  i have still been having weekly migraines, but the endurance has been cut in half.  like saturday for instance, ella had an early soccer game.  half-way thru getting ready i noticed that i couldn't see myself in the mirror anymore.  pretty soon the black lights came on and i was running for a fiorocet to lessen the blow.  in about 45 minutes my vision was back and the head pain was gone.  i only suffered migraine hangover for a few hours.  no slurred speech, numb limbs or porcelin throne worshipping.
 i thought i would pass on this info as something that has helped me get back to "a new normal".  i have grocery shopped without a day to recover for almost a month, been able to keep up with a normal cleaning schedule and make dinner more consistently.  this is progress and i am feeling like i might almost be up for a trip to my favorite city this fall.  my fingers are crossed, nyc baby!