enough is enough.

my name is h.mac and i am a junk-a-holic hoarder.

i am tired of living from treat to treat.

i am tired of my hind end giving me whip lash as i run up the stairs 54 times in a day.

i am tired of my thyroid being enlarged.

i am tired of being tired.

and no more sweet tooth fairy cupcakes for me. NO MORE. NO MORE. NO MORE.

i lost the baby weight and then the cupcakes got me and the candy, sugar cookies, and on and on. candy. me, really?!

i found myself making a cake yesterday and knew i was in trouble. in healthier days i was always sure that you were a real carbaholic if you were desperate enough to make a box cake for enjoyment. (why not go for brownies or ice cream if you're going crazy. a fluffy, need two pieces box cake?) my philosophy has always been to pour hours into making a dessert. this proves wise on many fronts. most especially not having dessert be an easy thing to get to. also, scott and i usually practice saving our treat for date night and we share. we made our agreement yesterday that we would breath new life into this and also, a sunday treat that would take a while to make and be taken to some kind of family gathering where there would be no leftovers.

10 pounds later with baby 4 it isn't melting off like it used to. which leads me to......

emily and i married cousins. they recently moved here from australia. we became fast friends and found we both suffer an immense love of food which has us traipsing across the valley on date nights (with our husbands tagging along) talking, oohhing and ahhhing over food. i don't think there has been a date night without 200 fat grams consumed.

my mother raised us with awesome food habits that were very balanced. we never had abounding junk around the house. never had processed foods or sweets casually tempting us. it was one of the best gifts she gave us. she taught us to appreciate food in moderate and healthy amounts. my gluttony is a disgrace to the wise ways she schooled us in.

so emily did this wonderful post today that had me at costco by nights end wanting to start over fresh. i want to feel better. i don't care so much about the exercising part as much as the feeling better. exercise and i do not get along. i would rather run into a brick wall repeatedly. so. again, go here to read her inspiring post about how americans are carb chasers and her thorough research about how to be better. she gave me lots of costco tip offs on products like the aguave nectar, quinoa, wheat sandwich rounds, frozen pitted cherries and on and on. i found salmon burgers, almond butter (only roasted ground almonds), and other delightful things to get me started on feeling better and snapping less.

hopefully my slightly older post partum body will return to its normal weight and forgive me for my shameful ways. i take pretty seriously being a good steward over my physical body. it's a privilege.

that or i may need to purchase some super glue to get all the rolls to meld into one. (that may or may not be a real threat i am giving myself with swimsuit season upon us)