2012 Seasons Greetings and Reflections

 Sometimes I try real hard to conform and such.  BUT. I can't get it together for the whole Christmas Card situation. Here is my offering, slight as it might be.  I feel incredibly and overwhelmingly grateful to have spent 2012 surrounded by such wonderful people.  2012 has been filled.

Yesterday I was reflecting with my sister and we had the most wonderful conversation about the concepts concerning mourning, compassion, and curiosity.  Sometimes I think we confuse our need to help and be compassionate, selfishly with curiosity.  We look at someone else's trial and feel the need to help.  Sometimes we selfishly feel like we need to know details of someone else's crisis or trial in order to help.  We need to tell our neighbors about someone else's crisis or trial to make OURselves feel better.  2012 gave me the opportunity to see how we mourn with those that mourn. We extend just enough mercy that our curiosity is curtailed.

I watched a clip of Robbie Parker's press conference.  At the end of his sobering offering to the media, he was asked what his last minutes were like with his sweet angel.  I saw his heart pierced with pain from the inappropriateness of that very personal question and in seconds this overflowing mercy he extended to the reporter.  He shared what those last moments of earth life were like for him and Emilie. 2012 taught me that asking any kind of a question in crisis to this dad is inappropriate and not compassionate.  Compassion would never have asked questions.  Compassion would have been a listening ear.  Compassion would have been letting him keep those last moments sacred and for himself. This man knows what mercy is. I have come to gain a better understanding of what quality people I have been blessed to mourn with and be loyal to.  It has taught me the error of my selfish curious ways with a determination that I won't forget what 2012 brought into our lives. I am determined to explore and extend mercy more fully in my life.

For the lighter offering of this Holiday Theme, I will update you on this family of mine.  That good red head got himself some hobbies this year.  It was about time.  Hobbies should never include writing prescriptions and giving neuro exams.

I talked him into this Jeep he had been eyeing and now he fancies himself on finding "parts" for this jeep of his.  I never ever knew that a car could be a hobby. Turns out that jeeps are a lifestyle.  We enjoyed many summer nights with ice cream cones dripping down our faces and the wind blowing in our hair at sunset. I will emit the gory details about how he got a bad deal on one of those Jeep parts and how the fabric top kept hitting back seaters in the head. He has also got himself a bow - think Robin Hood.  Arrows and practice are required for this deal and he has yet to come up with the purpose of it all other than a hobby.

I confess that he gets better with time and am so glad he is mine.  He has played the part of super hero this year filling in the major gaps our year has left us. I can't possibly imagine how another Christmas can come and how I can enjoy it any more with him and then life always surprises me and every year it is possible.

 Grayce - 11. pre-teen and proud of it. the battle is beginning. that picture up top was chosen as "the one" because that good red head of mine looked at it and stated he wanted something with his pre-teen hugging her dad without being asked framed and on the mantle.  She is fun and happiness.  She is tease and attitude. In this family picture, every single item of clothing is from my closet down to the boots. Having a daughter who still boasts the 95% for height will always be a mystery to this short mother.  She has blown us away with her desire and drive to keep at that singing talent and I am quite sure I will pass out from nerves every single time she sings a solo.  She got to record a song in a studio with her voice teacher before he moved away in August.  She sang a duet with him and it was such an honor to watch her with those head phones on with twinkling eyes taking in that studio. She is bound and determined that NYC will be in her future for 2013 and has been diligently saving up money so that she can be included in my annual excursion. By darn, I think she is going to do it.

Easton - 9 the end of this month.  He will always continue to amaze me with his old soul.  He is starting to act more the part of a brother this year by the occasional poke, tease, and torture.  It makes me happy as he was far too behaved for his own good.  He has held his sports torch high by racing to read the sports section of the newspaper every single morning and memorizing every stat over cereal. He has been playing more sports and talking less, which is a good thing for the sanity of those who live with him.  He has loved finally being in the third grade and having permission to spout those times tables he memorized in kindergarten.  At the beginning of the year, he started to read the Book of Mormon in his free time at school and was to 3 Nephi by March.  We were shocked and amazed and inspired to do better at scripture reading.  Our Bishop challenged us to read the Book of Mormon this year and boy howdy, he got on that one all on his own.  His proudest accomplishment is that of the mullet he sports.  I tried to hide it in these pictures but his grandpa McKay teases mercilessly that he is going to get his Young Women's medallion if he doesn't cut it.  He did recently take 3 inches off the mullet and boy is he proud that his is still longer than any of the teachers and priests in the ward.

Ella - 6. This little girl continues to amaze me with her determination and zest for life.  She has blossomed in Kindergarten.  The first day of school she came home and told me that she went to the principals office.  I was mortified and grilled her endlessly about why.  She was telling me it had something to do with her friend and a line of kids and I could not make sense of this.  I stewed about it for days asking her what he said to her and what her teacher said about going there as she told me her teacher had her go there.  Finally I got brave and asked her teacher.  She laughed and said that everyone went to the principals office, they went on a tour of the school.  I have chuckled about this more times than I can count. She is quite the girl.  She is an artist, spending hours on end at the art table she got for her birthday.  We have regular piles of these amazing creations. I was watching her in her classroom the other day and was amazed at the confidence she has around people. I watched her in these little groups and saw all the kids watch what she did and they all followed.  It scared me near to death to recognize her leadership skills and then I eased up a bit as I saw she was making good choices and showing kindness at the same time. she is such a gem in our family.

Rowan -2. Angel. Really.  There are no words to express his light in our family. He is kind and patient.  He heals and glues all of us together with this amazing ability to calm and assure.  If you are having a bad day, come for some Rowan love and he will make you feel pretty important.  He is also sporting a mullet at his brother's request and is proud to tell you about his "muwet hair tut".  He has each one of those siblings on a tight string.  He has taken the lead from Easton and loves all things sports.  His favorite thing to do is watch games.  More recently WSU Basketball games.  Oh how he lights up when we tell him it's game night.  He squeals, he yells "go team" and loves when they score a basket. Walking into the arena sounds like we have a baby pig with us. He gets crazy happy and squeaks to his hearts content. He is amazing as far as watching games.  He will watch an entire game while making someone feel loved and sitting on their lap.  He loves nursery and loves to tell me about the snack every week.  He is blossoming and it is such a privilege to watch.  He melts my heart daily as he wraps those chubby arms around my neck and says "love you mom".  His naps are one of the highlights of his day as he religiously tells me everyday after lunch that he is a tired boy and needs his crib. He is so much like Easton was at this age and I just can't believe DNA could be so similar.

I love this family of mine and feel really blessed to be sharing Christmas with them.  They make me a better person everyday.  They are what life is about. I love being around them and feel like we have reached such a  high point in family life.  Young enough to still love us yet old enough to clean toilets - Hoorah!!

a gift idea for you

right after graduate school was finished and we started earning a paycheck, we were faced with a gifting dilema. instead of having a few beans as an offering as a christmas gift to family, we had some actual real money.  we didn't know what to get family.  as the siblings on my side talked, we decided to pool our money for our dad and have it go towards a plane ticket to alaska (my brother lives there and he wanted to get up to see him).  We had a good sum of money from the 6 of us.  it required an envelope to hold it all.  as christmas time drew near, we became aware of a family that was in need.  my brother devin was working at the ogden DI at the time.  on christmas, as we gathered around and exchanged gifts, my dad opened his envelope.  instead of that wad of money was a note that said something to the effect of: "we had money in here to go towards a plane ticket to visit cam.  it was a good amount.  devin told us of a family he worked with. they were in need and we decided that if you taught us anything as kids, it would be that the money needed to go to that family instead. thank you for teaching us the real meaning of christmas."

it was a very touching christmas celebration as we honored my dad and his gift of teaching to us.

every year we try to donate our money we would spend on each other to a good cause.  this year i was feeling empty. as our own little family, we adopt a child from the child abuse utah program (they are in the shelter for christmas) and provide a christmas morning for them.  we were able to help out a good deal with the missionary efforts for our church a few months ago. but there was nothing screaming christmas to me.  it's tricky to get that green light feeling.

today when i woke up and got this email, i knew that this would be our family giving gift this year.  scott was on a flight with rachel a few months ago and felt really inclined to get involved with their families efforts to help send off missionaries for our church in guatemala.  you can read about it HERE.

she talked about a perpetual fund to help the people that they were worshipping with and i was head over heels with this great idea.  feel free to click HERE to read about it.

and sorry for ruining the surprise of your gift mcfarlane's, but i had to pass this on to others looking to do the same thing. merry christmas!