nowhere else

yesterday was this large conference i talked about in my last post. it is kind of the rage in utah. conferences put on by professionals for women. just for her. they have classes on every kind of female interest one can think of. our local stake adopted this concept and planned a large spiritual gathering for 300+ women. we had marriage therapists lined up, scholars in scripture, mothers sharing parenting and grand parenting ideas, food prep instruction, how to keep our homes protected from the world and so on. the final speaker came with marvelous accolades to her name. hers is the job of inspiring women to find out what their talents are, discover the talent that could take them places. she was all fired up, this quiet group of ladies before her. i live in a modest, quiet area. it is hard to crack jokes and get responses i have noticed when i congregate with these stalwart people. i think she had to adjust her presentation for a stone faced, reverent crowd. because my attendance was necessary to place all of the flowers, i attended, trying to select speakers that would fill my inspiration cup.

i was ready to come home with lists of things to change, new ways of loving and doing things, a spring makeover so to say.

it was during the grand finale speaker whose job was to motivate that i had to fill out a survey reflecting my contentedness with life. i filled out my work sheet and looked at my answers. my friends were looking around at each others scores and comparing notes. i had this moment where the speaker was asking women what their wildest dreams were, what their deepest desires were. i heard answers of wildlife photographers, home builders and so on. nothing yesterday resonated with me. nothing was put to paper on my list of things to improve. this motivational speaker only talked to me, didn't really touch me.

when i came home and was discussing my predicament with my handsome redhead, he was glad i didn't have a list of fix it's for our marriage and parenting skills. one woman that i know that was at the conference commented to me how glad she was that she was past my phase of life and gave me her deepest condolences. i confidently told her that i loved every minute of my life and wouldn't fast forward for anything. my answer to her summed up my feelings as of late.

this main event speaker also asked us to remember when we were little girls and the world was ours, what was it we wanted to do? doctors, teachers, broadway singers.

i played dolls, kitchen, and teacher. i was always the teacher helping with homework or reading to kids. i concurred that i am doing exactly what my little girls heart desired. i am fulfilling every dream i ever could have come up with for myself. and somehow i think that little girl would smile if she could have looked ahead to see the life i live.

by no means am i claiming perfection of self in any way. but i am saying that i know where to find the inspiration needed to move forward as a mother. i know where all of my parenting skills receive refinement and inspiration. i know where my devotion to my husband comes from. i know where my self help is found.

it's found in a garden.
it's found at the empty tomb.
it's found on the raging sea that was calmed.
it's found in the stable with lowly means and humble parents.
it's found with the thought of my mediator and advocate before a loving father.

it's all found in love.

(and in case you are wondering i am home with a sore throat{ed} little fella, missing my worship services, so it feels appropriate to say.............)

AMEN.

the flower voices

a month or so ago a kind woman in my house of worship approached me. she was soliciting help for a large women's conference for the area. she was asking my help for the decor. now, i might be into architecture like there's no tomorrow, but my house sits empty waiting for the right furniture and just the right wall decor. i readily accepted the assignment because i was in my house of worship which usually puts one in a very nice mood. when i got home i wondered what i had done. those who know me know that i don't do crafty or cute{sie}. i don't have bows anywhere in my house and i don't usually participate in anything involving toll paints. it just isn't me. i am not an accessory woman. i have a few prized broaches, a wedding band and a good pair of sterling earrings but fluffy isn't my thing. i admire a mother who accessorizes herself and her children, don't get me wrong. i have many an accessorizing family members and friends. cute matching bow headed children that i look at admiringly. my disdain only comes from the fact that accessories overwhelm me. really, really overwhelm me. bows and flowers for girls hair laying around my house make me so nervous. i am a strong believer in a good hair cut and a very nice polished look for your hair, and we do have an occasional head band laying around that occasionally makes it on some one's head. all of this said, i am a simpleton in the area of decor and accessories simply because my brain doesn't work that way.

now, being a good mormon woman one is put into the position to decorate a church gym once in a while. your turn will inevitably come. i just thought my confidence in the kitchen would take me places that would altogether avoid the gym decor, but no. not only was i shocked, but all i told also had a gaping jaw. well, forgetting about the frugality of mormons, i envisioned carnations by the truckload with the stems cut off sitting beautifully adorning tables in all white with limes mixed in on a beautiful table runner. that is my idea of simpleton decor. when i sat thru our first meeting i was to find that my budget was consistent with mormon values, putting all of the money on the food, we sure know how to eat. so with a zero budget and 44 tables to decorate with a spanish theme, my mind was ringing tacky. tacky, tacky, tacky.

do you have voices in your head that lead you to crazy decisions? combine that with my problem of passion and focus and i had myself making 1000 paper flowers. 1000, 1000, 1000. it couldn't be less. the voices drove me to do it. by the end i had multiple friends involved cutting, fluffing and consoling in behalf of the 1000 paper flower voices. i am proud to announce that i am now the owner of 1000 paper flowers. they adorned the gymnasium today and i was shocked at the buzz. this non decorator lady entered the world of mormon crafting at its finest. i was asked when my class could be attended.(i might be coming to your next homemaking ;)) i have dates booked out of other women needing these lovelies. all the flowers caused quite a female stir. every mormon stereo type ensued. so now i gladly join the ranks of the mormon crafting mother with my 1000 mexican paper flowers. (and a great case of carpel tunnel from all of the cutting)

a deep thanks to all of my best{ies} who helped make the voices quiet in my head......but mostly the redhead, who did as many as i did. and while we didn't watch the olympics, we listened, focusing all of our eye power on the flowers.......i love you scotty!

he he he

an apology of sorts for the last post. i have had many a friends thinking it might have been an announcement on my part. so sorry to disappoint. we are in the business of expanding the family but it seems we get to play the waiting game for a bit here. sorry for the alarm!

i was just referring to the fact that all of the contributors on our food blog have had at least one pregnancy each, some two since we started it! it's no wonder we go a bit in between posts. not to mention, most of the gals have husbands in residency, law school or big gun jobs!

but here's to regular posting at our table!

a miracle of sorts

but we have started posting again at our food blog. click here

and to our credit, there have been many, many babies born since our haitus. there are seven of us lovelies in fertile condition involved here. be patient ;)

my birthday wishes

happy happy birthday to my favorite red headed husband. i thought it especially sweet that he sent his mother flowers today with the card reading "thanks for giving birth to me 31 years ago."

really, really sweet.